What if. What a brilliant combination of the two most widely used words. Two words which could send you reeling back into the past or push you headlong into the future. These same two words provide such a contrasting arousal of emotions depending on what division of the time dimension you use them on. The past inevitably causes regret when 'What if.' is used for it. The same 'What if.' gives hope when used while looking forward.
It's amusing, the way I'm overdosing on 'what ifs', on both sides of time. Hope and regret are hardly the mixture emotions which makes me feel pleasant when filled to the brim with. It's making my present - my reality suffer consequentially.
What if I had lived last year differently. What if I graduate from my minuscule woes. What if my imperfections have begun to superimpose on my few positives. What if everything I've judged to be absurd, is in fact completely correct. What if I don't get to be any more than a fading memory in the head I want the most to be in. What if light eludes me from inside my dark solitary shell. What if I actually live up to the expectations they have in me. What if that hand actually does become mine, what'll I do then?
What if all of these what ifs are a load of bullshit..
What if there's nothing here for us
When the world comes crashing down
Who do we turn to trust?
What if everything here is meant to hurt
When an open mouth - releases no sound
When all emotions begin to float - at the crust
What if there's nothing we can do
Maybe we move with the larger wave
The only hope I see for me now is you..
3 comments:
There will always be a "what if". Because every moment of our lives is making choices, and it's the choices that we make that define who we are.
So the answer to all the what ifs is essentially the same. You will never know.
Reminded me of the book "The time machine" by H.G Wells. Especially the movie adaptation.
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